No Contact Success Stories

If you follow my page you know how big of an advocate I am of the No Contact Rule. I believe it’s the single best thing you can do for a break up to give you the space you need to actually heal your heart and adjust to the absence of your ex in your life. With that being said, I know it’s a really hard thing to do.

So the other day when I was getting messages from people about No Contact I realized my followers fell into 2 camps when it comes to No Contact. I have people who have done my No Contact Challenge or have gone through my Detox Your Ex Course and are firm believers in No Contact- they have shared some incredible experiences with it and I can see how it’s been changing their break up for the better. On the other hand I have a lot of followers who are TERRIFIED to start No Contact. They think it’s impossible go more than a day without reaching out to their ex.

Once I realized that I figured out that I just needed to let those that are afraid of No Contact hear from those who have already done it. In my stories I asked people to share their experiences with me over DMs and I got HUNDREDS of messages. There were so many times when reading these stories I felt chills or got emotional because I can see how much it has changed their lives.

It was really hard to narrow it down but I have selected stories that reflect a variety of break up situations and that show a variety of benefits. As you read through these stories look out for the similarities instead of the differences. Read through them with an open mind and use them as a source of inspiration to start your own No Contact journey.

I always tell people to give it a shot, I promise you have nothing to lose. And if you’re looking for some help in your journey be sure to sign up for my 30 Day No Contact Challenge where I give you all of the support and guidance you need to jumpstart this process.

“I can't tell you how peaceful I have felt, it’s like no contact is such a big catalyst for healing!!!!”

“No Contact was such a relief. I no longer had the weight of wondering if he would text/why he wasn’t texting/hating that his texts just hurt me more. I was free 🙌🏻. You have no idea how heavy that is until you let it go. Block. Delete the contact. I promise you will feel better.”

“YESYESYESYES OMG! My ex broke up with me in October and I have been following you since then. I had my apprehensions about no contact but one day I just decided I had to do it. I removed him from my social media and stopped texting him. It was really difficult in the beginning and I still kept expecting him to reach out. BUT it gradually got better and it was all worth it. Slowly I stopped caring about it and waiting around. I could invest all that energy in myself and I am in such a better place right now. I am so grateful I did it. To anyone else stuck- IT WILL GET BETTER! Your ex doesn't deserve all that time, attention, effort and energy. Take all of it and give it to yourself. YOU GOT THIS 💖💖💖”

“Best thing I ever did!! I learned to heal totally on my own and found strength in each day I went without contact! The biggest lesson was that I learnt to make a boundary with myself in my one of my lowest times. My past break ups have been less heartbreaking but I healed soo much slower cause I never practiced the no contact rule. I tell everyone about it now! Also thank you for what you do this has been the backbone for me becoming the badass i am today though my break up!”

“I was SO scared to do no contact but after a month of on-again/off-again contact,  I realized no contact was the ONLY way to get through the breakup. Looking back 6 months later, I wish I had done no contact from day 1 of the breakup and not a month or so in. It allowed me to begin healing and I realized that process would never happen as long as I was still talking to him”

“I am no longer anxious every day or wondering what he’s doing. The thoughts come and go but I can say I’m much happier after cutting contact. It was hard but it gets easier every day.”

“Happy to help! This long response might sound silly but I just want people to know this! After 4 years of struggle, I've been no contact almost with 5 months. Meshed with hoover attempts, yet going strong! And believe me Kendra, IT IS NOT EASY to not fall back! But then.. I have my FREAKING LIFE BACK!  I have a clear mind space, I've never been so confident. For someone who had hard time taking simple decisions till date, I am planning and organizing trips with friends! Gradually living up to my best potential professionally without the mind fog which clouded my life! And my peace of mind! O GOD! Lol. Where was I all this while! It's like I am meeting myself finally. And I am loving me, caring for me and getting to know me. The control of my life is finally in my hands! And I am never giving it away 😃”

“It gets easier the longer you do it AND the feeling when you finally stop obsessing over them is worth ALL the pain you might feel at the beginning of the  no contact. It’s a gift - a chance for a fresh start!”

“I did the 30 day no contact in November and haven’t had any contact with my ex since. At first I did not think I could do it but I did and right now I would not look back. I’m so glad I came across your page because it was what I truly needed at that moment. Even when my ex reached out through those 30 days I haven’t looked back and now am on a road to healing and self love!”

“I am so glad I went NC! He would have been expecting me to reach out so by staying silent I regained my power (which I had lost in the relationship). Sometimes the urge to text was unbearable, either to tell him how much I missed him or express how badly he had hurt me,  but the wave always passed. After about 3 weeks, he messaged me to say he missed me and - to my surprise - I wasn’t excited about it or hopeful that it meant he wanted us to get back together - I was angry that he had disturbed my peace”

“For the first time, I have gone no contact for more than two months. I’ve always broken it but this time I’ve said committed!! It really helps to understand that just because you miss them, it doesn’t mean you should text them as you always say. And to also understand that whenever the temptation comes, I sit with the emotions rather than running with it and making a mistake. I remember when three days was tough and now I can’t wait to reach 100 days! I’m proud of myself 👏👏 and thanks to your podcasts that always keep me grounded during this journey”

“From the moment my ex broke up with me I went no contact. I realized in the moment of our break up, he made his decision, no pleading would change his mind at least in that moment, especially if he could not see our relationships worth for himself. (even though inside I was dying to ask why and plead why - trust me it’s not worth it, you won’t get the answer you want). With no contact I had time to look at the relationship from an outsider perspective and see the red flags I was missing from being in it and fighting for it. I am so proud that I never once contacted him, and with that I showed him my value and self respect. He’s messaged me every week since breaking up, still with no response from me. I loved that I was strong enough to ignore/block, to take care of me first. I got what I wanted, him to see what he missed out on, and showing my self worth to myself and showing my self respect for myself to walk away when someone says no, and doesn’t see my worth.”

“My relationship ended 2 months ago, no contact for 6 weeks now. I removed Facebook from my phone because it's where I'm most tempted to look at his/his family's profiles. The last couple of weeks have been groundbreaking for me in realizing truths about our relationship and things I want in my future. I truly believe that without no contact, I wouldn't have worked through these thoughts, especially at such a pace as I have. I still have such a long way to go but I'm keeping no contact in place for sure. In my moments of hesitation I remind myself: why contact someone who decided to end our relationship in the first place and who wouldn't fight for me? Would it gain me anything? (the answer is NO!)”

“It has been about 3 months since I talked with my ex for the last time. I was TERRIFIED about going no contact, our relationship ended so quickly I thought he would want us to get back together eventually, so I had to be there in order for him not to “fall out of love”. The harsh truth is he never changed his mind (and I really don’t think sticking around would have made a difference), however when we stopped talking I began to accept our break up and feel way less anxious. I was literally forced to find healthy coping mechanisms, I opened up with my friends and family, and eventually grew as a person. Yeah, no contact can be hard, and sometimes I still have my down moments. However, I don’t regret it going no contact. I’m so proud of myself for been able to do it, I didn’t think I was strong enough. Now I feel confident  that I‘m capable of taking care of me no matter what (or who) is thrown my way.”

“Going No Contact forced me to find other ways to occupy my time. I started taking "gratitude walks" when I would want to check his social media- without my phone and being in the sun, exercising, and thinking about what I was grateful for despite the hard times I was going through really help lift my mood. It also helped me focus on myself rather than on him. It helped to reset my nervous system because every time I would see his name pop up on my phone I would have a mini panic attack. Going no contact allowed my nervous system to calm down and not be triggered. It's hard but so beneficial.”

“It felt like I was addicted and it was extremely hard at first. I felt anxious and stressed and I was dying to reach out to my ex-husband. But gradually it got better. And little by little, he feels like a distant memory. More importantly, talking to him is keeping me stuck. And anytime he and I did talk, I would be thrown back into this emotional blender and I’d have to crawl back out of it. And now, I don’t have to do that anymore. I am very glad that I did it. It was really hard because I missed him and part of me still wanted to go to him for comfort because I was hurting. And even though we were separated, he would still give me that comfort. But it kept me emotionally tied to him. I wish I would’ve told myself in the very beginning to stop breaking my no contact over and over because every single time I had to start over, it felt like I was back in the war zone.  And each time did get easier but I constantly felt like I was taking two steps forward and one step back. Bottom line is, it may feel good in the moment but it is detrimental in the long term.”

'“Fear kept me persisting with contact for 7 months, afraid to let go instead I kept investing in more pain, more disempowerment, more hoping wishing waiting OBSESSING. 30 days of no contact & I have had the distance & space to see the relationship for what it really was & have stopped missing him, feeling a sense of loss of what could have been, wishing I was spending my weekends with him. No contact has allowed me to reclaim my individuality & honor myself by making a bold statement - NO MORE! he does not have that power over me, I have the power to create a fulfilling & honouring life for myself & I’m doing it & it feels wonderful!!”

“Went no contact with an ex I was with for three years. The first week was tough and I longed for him and missed him but it got better. Now it’s been over a month and I barely even think about him now! I believe it’s because no contact let me establish a new routine without him in my life. It also allowed me to enjoy spending more time than ever with friends and family too. What made me go no contact was realising I no longer enjoyed being in contact with my ex and it actually made me more anxious than anything else, messaging him, waiting on a reply, not being sure he’d reply. No contact helped me move on and let go of him.”

“3 months no contact - This is really hard at first. No contact was the exact opposite of what I wanted. I thought, my ex might change their mind, Having no contact with them allowed me to not focus on my ex and allowed me to learn the value and strength I had within myself! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still really hard. But being able to focus on myself has given me the strength I need to continue on. I still can’t see it. But I know it gets better. No contact has nothing to do with my ex, it has everything to do with me healing my heart in a healthy way!”

“Hi ! I just wanted to share my experience because I was someone who did not think I could go no contact with my ex. Even though he broke up with me and I knew we couldn’t just be friends, I still felt like I couldn’t stop talking to him. I wasn’t ready to let go. It hurts to admit but even an argument felt like we were still important to each other. He initiated no contact after a while and at first it felt like the breakup all over again. BUT I’m happy to say it really did get easier every day. It’s been about a month and a half and I don’t feel a need or desire to text him. I’ve been able to put all of my energy towards myself: taking care of, healing, and loving myself. I’ve made so much progress and I’m so proud of myself. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to listen to my gut and to initiate no contact myself—that I am 100% strong enough and deserve to put myself and my feelings first.”

“The only way out was through. And the only way through was on my own. No contact is the only reason I’m where I’m at today. He wanted to be friends and it sucked to set that boundary but it is IMPOSSIBLE to not stay in love when you’re still in contact.”

“No contact definitely helped me, because it's out of sight out of mind. It took me a long time to get there, but before I eventually deleted / blocked I muted on social media so that I just didn't see their feed, but realized that I was still altering and conscious of what I was posting because I was acutely aware they were still watching. When I finally did delete I felt a sense of relief and freedom. I also force myself out of silly unconscious habits like checking their last seen on whatsapp by changing it to private mode so I do not see last seen. Impulsively checking in brings no peace to you, so as hard as it is you need to cut clean. Focus on getting through the day first, then the week. In the long run you will subconsciously start to feel better and you'll look back and feel proud of yourself for not cracking. And eventually you'll feel indifference 🙌 cutting the strings is the start to empowering yourself!”

“After I broke up with my toxic ex i told him that we needed to not communicate with each other again to make it easier for both of us to move on. he suggested us to be friends and I completely disagreed with that because i knew it would have been so painful for us. when I did no contact with him it gave me space to think and the clarity to focus on myself without the looming thought of him possibly texting me, watching my story, or communicating with me in any way. I cut him out of my life and it was the best thing I ever did for myself because I now know what I want in life and in a relationship. I also blocked and unfriended him on every single app that we were connected on. it helps the pain and there’s no need to stay in touch. now i’ve moved on in a very healthy way. “

“In the beginning it was hard, especially since he would contact me here and there, but it became much easier when I blocked him and his enabler friends from social media. It has been 8 months since we broke up, and i still think about what happened every day, but the day I blocked him was the most liberating and it has only gotten better since.  While it really hurts when a relationship ends, no matter the cause, I chose to focus as much as possible on the logic that not all relationships last forever. I was only hurting myself by leaving a line of communication open and my first priority should always have been my wellbeing from the start. Going no contact solidified that for me.”

“I wish i knew that trying to hold on to him and his memories was just hurting me and breaking me down even more. I'm valuable on my own, my value isn't based on someone else in my life. I don't NEED to tell him when something reminds me of him or when i think of him. Those memories and lessons are for me. I can smile to myself knowing thats what I'm thinking of, but he doesn't need to know. And if i do speak to him, tell him anything, he wont react the way i want him to. He will make me feel worse and worthless. I define my value, not him. And by putting myself at his mercy i am handing him power over me, which he doesn't deserve. We had fun, i have great memories and i don't need to be bitter or sad about the end. Just happy with the memories and move on with my life ❤”

“With my first ex, we attempted to “reverse our relationship”. The logic was, it took steps to get into the relationship (i.e. friendship, the talking stage, dating, to full commitment) and we thought that doing these steps but in reverse might make things less painful. Boy were we WRONG. This led to a year of painful on-and-off and wasted time. We also killed any chance of us ever getting back together properly, because we were messing around with each other while both of us were still hurt. By the time my second ex rolled around and we broke up, I knew that ripping off the bandaid and going straight no contact was the right way to go. I told my ex right off the bat to expect no contact, and that I was blocking him. I explained my reasoning and assured him that I wasn’t doing it to be mean; I just needed my space and time to heal. I knew that if I was reminded of him every day that it would be much harder for me to move on. A clean break was the best way to go 100%.”

“I’ve done 3 months of successful no contact. We only write each other to discuss the dog we are sharing and the house we need to sell and those conversations stay to those topics. During that time I’ve put a lot of work into myself. There were still lots of times crying and feeling like my world was crumbling but it really shifted to out of sight out of mind. About two months in it was a like a switch flipped and I started to notice that I wasn’t consumed with thinking about him and the relationship falling apart and most days were getting better and better from there. Without his presence I was able to step back enough to really see how I was unhappy in the relationship and use that to support me on day where I felt I went two steps backwards. I prefer the no contact actually. It really helps keep my emotions in check and safeguards my day to day happiness. When we do have to discuss the dog or house it does shake me up a bit and it becomes easier to have a bad day.”

“I’ve been doing NC for just over 30 days. It was excruciating at first but I also couldn’t handle or want to be in contact because I was hurting so much (as was he). After 2 weeks, I had a shift and just started to feel like myself. Every few days, the weight of my “missing him” was easier to carry but also because I dove into self-care headfirst...I reached out to my friends, let them comfort me, found ways I could be a friend in return to them, took up a writing class, worked myself back up from daily gentle yoga to my usual work outs, started to dust off old work projects I had tabled for too long, and journaled the hell out of every day. When I wanted to text him, I texted my BFF instead. Slowly, my bruised and broken heart is healing and coming back together. I still carry the weight of missing him/my sadness, but it’s a little lighter and I’m much stronger. “

“Hey! So my experience with no contact didn’t heal me completely but it definitely was a biggg stepping stone to feeling better about the whole breakup. The no contact rule really gave me time to focus on figuring out ways to make myself happy, productive and successful. Sure enough I didn’t have time to miss him or even think about trying to text him because I was so busy on doing what made me happy ❤️”

“I have done no contact for more than a month now & I  am so glad! It was incredibly difficult for me at the start because it felt super harsh and I’ve always been so empathetic towards people’s feelings. I was the one who broke up with him but this was my most painful breakup precisely because I felt responsible for inflicting that pain on him. Now, several weeks on, I feel so much more at peace with myself & I am no longer beating myself up about it. With each day it gets easier and time has allowed me to start seeing things in perspective. And I honestly think it was in a funny way, kinder for him because dragging things on would have also prolonged his pain.”

“Been no contact for about 2 months and it has eliminated so much of my anxiety and that pit in my stomach from wondering if it’s him every time my phone goes off. It’s actually very freeing to let go of that weight.”

“For me, contact just keeps the possibility open of something happening again. The concept of that hurts too much, and makes me feel like maybe the break up wasn’t the right decision, even when I know that it was. No contact not only helps confirm that the decision to walk away from the relationship was the right one, but confirms that I can in fact be independent and ok on my own!”

“It has now been three months of no contact and I have made so much progress that I wouldn't have made Each week I noticed I was thinking about him less, his actions had less impact. I was able to have perspective. I have now gotten to a place where I can evaluate our relationship honestly and not feel like I am losing myself to try to save or fix him. I began noticing the potentials that I was holding onto, who he was going to be one day, not who he was. In letting him go, last week I was able to finally get rid of gifts and things I was holding on to the hope I would give them to him one day. I can say today that I love him very much, I am so grateful for the year we had, I always will, but I am also able to let him go and let myself heal.”

“Hi, just want to share My experience with No contact. I was too afraid to do No contact. We kept in contact for 3 months and it slowly killed me. It was so hard and actually much harder than the day I moved out of our apartment. For 3 months my mental health became worse and worse. So for me it was very important to tell him that we could not have any contact and therefore we agreed to do No contact. And I'm not kidding.. The very first day of the No contact I felt such a relief and day by day I have become more and more "happy". For me it's a relief to not expect a message from him nor see what he is up to. And of course follow your amazing work on instagram and podcast❤”